One thing I see come up for many of my clients (and honestly, most people I know) this time of year is stress around the chaos of the holidays. Whether this season feels joyful, heavy, or somewhere in between, it often brings a level of disruption that can be hard to manage. Routines shift, calendars fill up, spending increases, and it’s easy to feel stretched thin. Taking a little time now to plan ahead can help you move through the season more steadily and enter the new year without feeling completely drained.
Look (ahead) at your calendar and look (back) at your evidence.
Pause for a moment and check in with yourself. What parts of your wellbeing tend to feel most challenged during the holidays? For some people it’s family dynamics, for others it’s work deadlines, finances, too many social commitments, or increased alcohol use. These disruptions often have a ripple effect on our routines and stress levels. By looking at the weeks ahead, you give yourself a chance to anticipate what may feel hard and think about how you want to respond.
Looking back can be just as helpful. Your past experiences, especially past holidays, hold valuable information. What felt overwhelming last year? What left you feeling exhausted or disconnected from the parts of the season you actually enjoy? Reflecting on these patterns can help you move through this season with more intention, or at least a steadier pace. Even if you already feel caught in the holiday rush, it’s not too late to pause, take a breath, and prepare.
Once you have a sense of where the challenges may show up, you can begin setting some healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries aren’t all-or-nothing. They usually fall somewhere between open and rigid. They might look like communicating more directly, making choices that align with your values, or offering support while still being able to say no. Sometimes boundaries are about others, and sometimes they’re about yourself. This could mean asking family members not to comment on your body or parenting, or protecting your sleep during a busy stretch.
The goal is to set limits that actually work for you. For example, if you remember feeling foggy and exhausted last year, you might focus this season on boundaries around rest, sleep, or mindful eating and drinking. When boundaries are connected to your specific needs and experiences, they’re easier to maintain.
Following through becomes more manageable when you understand your “why.” Once you’ve identified what tends to drain you and what helps you feel more grounded, it becomes clearer where boundaries are most needed. A few ideas that can help:
- Identify one or two non-negotiables. This might be regular movement, protected downtime, or sticking to a budget so financial stress doesn’t follow you into the new year.
- Remember that “no” is a complete sentence. Saying no to something external can often be a way of saying yes to your own wellbeing. Making space for yourself can have a positive effect on the rest of your season, your relationships, and how you feel about yourself.
- Write it down and practice. Seeing your boundaries written out—on a note, in your phone, or somewhere visible—can help you stay connected to what matters. If assertive communication feels uncomfortable, practicing what you want to say out loud can make it feel more natural when the moment comes.
- Ideally, boundaries are respected. Sometimes they aren’t. Try not to let worry about someone else’s reaction keep you from taking care of yourself. Focus on what you can control. Being proactive with boundaries can leave you feeling more grounded and supported as the season comes to a close.
I hope you’re able to find a balance of rest and connection this holiday season. If you’d like extra support as you move through the holidays or into the new year, you’re welcome to reach out at kelly@chaminajjan.com. Wishing you and your loved ones a gentle end to the year.
