Timelines in Modern Dating and Relationships

When I was a kid one of my favorite books to read was a “choose your own adventure”. I’d tuck myself away in the corners of Barnes and Noble and relish in the uniqueness of my outcome. If I was lucky enough to bring the book home to my sibling we would equally share in the excitement of how we both created completely different stories out of similar material. Thus is life.


Nowadays it seems the lives of my friends are all the results of them choosing their own adventures. I find myself having that familiar feeling I had as a kid of enjoying each unique story. However, as much as these childhood books may resemble real life, they seem to have lost their popularity. In an age that fights to beat cookie cutter norms, oxymoronically coexists in the world of dating apps, and social media platforms with advertisements that push to make us have similar agendas or facades. So, where does the modern love story fit into this all? What is the appropriate modern day timeline for a 2023 love story? How soon is too soon? When is it okay to just… let love unfold?


Although we’ve broken many boundaries for when love/ how love/ and who we love exists, it seems that many people think they are the experts on the topics. I’m in the works to be a doctor in the field, but even I am no expert, only an individual who’s read, studied, and lived. In all my readings on the subjects of love and modern day timelines, such as “when should a couple move in together” there are always confounding results. Even the best of researchers have inherent bias on the subject- with each case always being unique. And pop-culture gurus with nothing backing them but opinions can’t determine how you play your cards. No two relationships are the same, so while one “timing” may be appropriate for a certain “mix of ingredients” it may be a “recipe” for disaster for another. The best expert on what is the best timeline for you is you. And the best way to know what’s best for you is to know yourself. 


If you’re looking for dating coaching or pre-marital therapy to help you build a foundation for your love story to unfold in a way that feels healthy and right to you, contact our staff at appointments@chaminajjan.com


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